Ten Things Students Need from Adult Leaders

Recently I led a training event for our student ministry with adult volunteer leaders.  I had a good plan and was excited about the opportunity to pour time, energy, and student ministry principles into adults.  This was going to be a different training than I had ever done before.  I decided to load all the leaders onto a bus and go to several schools to pray over the schools.  While driving to those schools we would train leaders.  It was an awesome night where we went to three different schools.

Praying over Gadsden Elementary School and all of Crockett County Schools

While I was preparing for the event I had a question that I kept asking myself, "what would students say is their biggest need from adult leaders in the student ministry?"  So I asked a few of our students leaders what their biggest needs where from adult leaders.  I was amazed at their answers.  Below is what I found out.  I then added my own thoughts and insights to the list in italics.

10. Be prepared to teach me when its time to teach me. 
Show up prepared and ready to teach. Reading from the lesson guide word for word is not being prepared. Spend extra time owning the lesson before you arrive. We should also be there ten minutes before the first student arrives if at all possible.

9. Invest in my life outside of regular programs.
Walk with students through life outside of the hour you have programed at church. If you are going to build trust with students you will have to engage them in life outside of a timed hour event.

8. Have a real faith outside of church and tell me about it.
Share with students what you are studying and how you are growing closer to the Lord every day. It’s even ok to be vulnerable and let them know about your struggles in walking with God daily (reading struggles, doubts, dry valleys, not your sin habits.) Let them know what God is calling you to do and how he is leading your life. Teach students how to do the same.

7. Love me when I fail.
They are students; they will fail. Love them even though they fail. You are going to hurt for them and that pain is natural. Don’t give up on them. Don’t let them see your disgust in their failures and pray them through it.

6. Show me how to share my faith.
Don’t just teach students words and models about sharing their faith; take them out into the world and help them learn from you how to share their faith.

5. Worship God for real. 
Engage in worship at all times. Be an active worshipper, listener, note taker, etc. Students are watching you and they are looking to you to know how to worship. Authenticity is the key.

4. Care about me.
When you are early and prepared for the hour it shows you care. When you smile and are welcoming to students it shows you care. When you check up on students throughout the week it shows you care. When you actively listen to students it shows you care. Just care for students and do it well.

3. Listen to me.
Some of the only time anyone really listens to students is at church. Students need you to listen actively and attentively. Look for moments to listen. Small groups should be 90% listening and 10% talking as a leader; even with middle school kids.

2. Help me establish standards and hold me accountable to them.Students really do want to know what your standards are and why they should have standards in their own life. They are looking for you to help them establish those standards and for you to hold them accountable to them. This isn’t about social behavior; it is about your standards in life as you follow Christ to holiness.

1. Stop being my friend and be the leader I need you to be.
More than a friend, a student needs a leader who loves them, cares for them, listens to them, leads them, corrects them, teaches them, and so many other things. Be a leader not a friend.

Daily Devotional

I was recently asked by a former student to write a daily devotion he is putting together for his facebook friends. I jumped on the chance to help him share Christ's love to his buddies. Here is my entry. It was to be on worldly love, I took a round about approach to it. Here it is:

Jesus said, "Have the people sit down." There was plenty of grass in that place, and the men sat down, about five thousand of them. John 6:10

I love this story of feeding the five thousand, found in John 6. There is so much going on here in this text. Can you imagine the size and magnitude of this event? It must have been huge. I bet it was a wonderful sight to see. I could camp out here and visit about this text for a few weeks. I really do like this event.

That is until you get in the middle of it and start to experience hands on what was happening here. Imagine 5,000 people in one place. I bet it was hot, grimy, sticky, and down right miserable. But then again, if you know me I have a hard time with mercy and compassion. I love a crowd don’t get me wrong, but I don’t love the people in a crowd. I bet it was loud and hot, sweaty and stinky, crowded and cramped. All things that make me want to run away from this story.

Thankfully Jesus and his disciples are different than me. (Thankfully Jesus makes me different too, Amen!) Look what happens in verse 6, Jesus says “have the people sit down.” Notice what it doesn’t say after his statement. It doesn’t say and the people sat down, or Jesus watched them from a distance, or Jesus and his disciples ate at a distance away. No it says, “and the men sat.” Jesus and his disciples clearly join them in this dinner. Despite my imperfections and my lack of mercy, I love this verse. It is probably my favorite part of this text. Jesus truly loved people and he still loves people!

This is where we must be willing to follow Jesus’ example. In our society of fast paced living, social media, and back stages and green rooms, do we ever truly get our hands dirty in God’s work? Do we love his people? Do we take time to sit and eat with his people, even if it is hard, dirty, sweaty, stinky, grimy, gross, etc.? We must remember 1 Peter 4:11 “Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God, whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies, so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever, Amen.”

Our world around us is dying, and they need you to be willing to sit and eat, to get your hands dirty! God is calling you to love! How will you do that today?

Full of Thanks

I am in a thankfulness mood, I guess I am in the spirit of it all...so here goes!

My God, My Savior, My Lord, I can not make this life without you!
My Wife, "She is the wind beneath my wings"...ha ha to me she is more than that!
My family, so diverse and abundant. I am rich in Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters some of which I have never even lived in your homes! Some of you don't even have the same skin color, that's what I love about family! You mean the world to me!
My Friends, and your recipes to make my face hurt from the smiles and laughs!
The Churches, that have given me the road map to be used by God to reach his kingdom, and the students and leaders that you have allowed me to invest my life!
My Daughter, for puking and peeing on me yesterday, I could not have been happier!
My Mentors, thank you for showing me what it means to be Godly.
Steve Jobs for making my whole life a soundtrack!
Bill Gates for allowing me to leave this world momentarily through video games like Call of Duty and Halo!
Soldiers now and then, for going to distant lands to sweat, bleed, work, and endure for my freedom!

What Have You Been Seeing?

Yesterday I took my precious family of three(!!!) to Memphis to see family and friends. It was our first outing with Lyla Pate, and guess what...we forgot to take a camera or take any pictures with our camera phones. We didn't even notice until we were driving home for the evening, and we survived. OK, if you are on Facebook you can see one that I posted of the stroller in the mall.

It was awesome because we didn't have any distractions from living the moment and building memories (versus snapping moments). Susan and I often catch ourselves living life through a camera lens. I am not bashing the camera lens life, but we loose a lot of peripherals when that is all we look through.

I am reminded of the rich young ruler in Matthew 10. He had it all, but was unable to see the peripherals around him. He stood in front of the creator and was unable to recognize the potential of it all. I know you are not the rich young ruler, but like living life through a camera lens we miss peripheral things, what spiritual things are we missing in the peripherals of life? Have you looked for the creator outside of the camera lens?

Fall is here!

Well it has been a REALLY long time since a member of the Stanphill family has update this blog. So here we go I, Russell, have been inspired to begin writing more often, but a word of warning it may only last a week!

We recently went to a pumpkin patch with miss Lyla Pate. We got some great pictures and had some great memories. She is currently four weeks old and doing a great job at three things, messing her diaper, eating her mother's milk, and crying. She is so beautiful!

It's been a fast, but terribly forever four weeks; I have a fine longing for slumber and silence! She is beginning to hold her head up and smile a bit, but is still totally dependent on her mom and I for everything.

Her dependency on us, is a quick reminder of how I am so dependent on my Lord and Savior, Jesus. The unfortunate side of my life is that it is more of an interdependence rather than the much needed dependency. So I ask, how is your dependency on our Lord Jesus, are you living your independence, interdependence, or are you dependent on Jesus? I like the words of David in Psalm 63, "Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you!" Who are you glorifying today?

IN MEMORY OF BAUER STANPHILL

Week 8

Our sweet baby is now the size of a raspberry - about 1/2 inch long. Baby Stanphill's heart is formed and beats at 150 beats per minute! The baby is growing about a millimeter a day and making me tired and nauseous. Thank goodness for snow days - although I wish I had made better use of these days! We have begun clearing out areas and organizing to make room for the nursury. This whole thing is still pretty surreal. Next Thursday (2/18) we go to the doctor for my 1st checkup. We'll get to listen to the heartbeat, so we're nervous and excited.

This past weekend we had our 2nd Thrive weekend (like a D-now) since moving to Humboldt. It was great. Two students accepted Christ for the first time and many more are more ready to get serious about their faith. We really feel connected to the church and are so thankful!

We're Pregnant!

Yes, that's right: we are having our first baby (boy?/girl?) in late September. We're very excited and have already begun making our home ready to welcome a new baby. I am six weeks pregnant and the baby is the size of a sweet pea. So many changes are happening for our little baby - in fact, he's 10,000 times larger than he was 4 weeks ago!

Fortunately, we haven't grown quite that much. I am worried about looking like a beached whale this summer, but have been told multiple times not to worry...ok, ok!

In other news, I am enjoying (finally) teaching Spanish at the high school - the hormones are really helping me to be "mean". Russell is busy planning Thrive Student Weekend scheduled for February 4-7. There are diets to consider, organizing of closets, rearranging of furiture, classes to prepare for, lessons to plan, messages to write, a dog to walk, and so much more! We're busy to say the least, which is why we've so enjoyed these last few days. We've been snowed in since Friday and are hoping that school is closed on Monday, too!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

From

Russell, Susan, and Bauer Stanphill

Sergeant Bauer Stanphill-The Puppy

The month of October has been a fun month for us as a family. We bought a puppy!!! He is a German Shorthaired Pointer, and is one heck of a lot of fun. We got him at 4.5 pounds six weeks old, and tomorrow he will turn 11 weeks old and way close to 14 pounds. He is a growing wonder dog. Here are some pictures!

The car ride home asleep!

Awake and almost home!
Home with Susan

An afternoon of playing

Sleepy puppy

Random Acts of Kindness

Towards the end of April the whole church had a mission invovlement day for the community here in Humboldt. The student ministry served the community through random acts of kindness. They were given 20 random things to do for others; it was an absolute blast. Here are a few pictures of the day.

Scooping Poop in someone's yard...

They made me hold it!

Pick weeds from a staff members home! Senior Pastor's home.

The tough senior high boys.

The tough boys acting as if they were picking our flowers.

Thrive Student Weekend

We had our first Thrive Student Weekend back in Febraury. I know it is late, but I lost our camera in November and we just got some pictures from a youth leader. We are currently in talks about buying a new camera. Any suggestions?

We had an incredible weekend with 45 students, and many many leaders. We brough Joey Hill and Fatal Formality as our speaker and band. The students were brought the word of God from both. It was an amazing weekend, and I am looking forward to next years event. Here are a few pictures of the weekend.

Smoky Mountains

This past weekend we went to the Smoky Mountains to camp in the forest! It was a blast for both of us! We stayed two nights and had a great time. It was a great first time trip for both of us! It was so beautiful seeing fall for the first time in Tennessee.

We had a great opportunity to hike three miles into the mountains and back on Friday and see some beautiful country. We had a great time waling in the mountains and hanging out together. Next time we go we will hike into the mountains and camp.

This was the end of our big long hike into the mountains. We climbed to the top of two mountains on our trip! Here are some more for you!

Yard of the Weekend!!!

There is a Dogwood!

This weekend we spent it with Russell's Mom and Jim landscaping the house. It was a lot of fun molding and shaping the house into what we wanted it to look like. When we bought the house we opted out of the landscape so that we could later do it ourselves. It was a lot of fun and we made some good purchases. It is a great thing to get connections! Here is what we did! You can go back earlier in the blogs and see the before.

The other side of the front door!

A Pin Oak Tree-Susan's pick

Red Maple-Russell's Pick


We were even able to put in a mailbox-we stained it and everything else!!


Hydrangeas


Knock Out Roses

Pansies-or as Russell likes to call them Dannies!

Russell was nice and postponed Russellpalooza for one night!

This week we went out with our good friends Lyle and Melissa and Warner and Hannah for Hannah's birthday. It was a lot of fun as you can tell. We went to the Olive Garden and had some good times. Russell usually celebrates his birthday all month long in September, but was nice enough to share a night of celebration with someone else!

Some of you have been worried about us connecting and surviving way out by ourselves. Hopefully these pictures will give you an understanding that we are making it. We have had an interesting time starting the Stanphill family. We are just glad that in West Tennessee there are two couples that will be seen on the town with us!

In all honesty it is going really well for both of us and we are enjoying life in West Tennessee. We thought we would put just a few pictures up to show how we are enjoying life. Hopefully you are having as much fun as we are where ever you are!!!

Here Comes the Bride

Yesterday we received the first of 600 (yikes!) wedding pictures from our photographer. Here are a few that he emailed directly to us. The rest will be posted online for viewing shortly. Enjoy!

Russ and the groomsmen...don't they look handsome?

All my beautiful bridesmaids!! Thank you all for making our day so special!

It was such a joy to be married at Cottonwood Creek. We both made so many friends and memories during our four years at the church.

The first visitors to our home!

Susan's family came to see us this weekend for Labor Day. They came in late last night, and we have had a wonderful time seeing the nieces, and everyone else! Today we drove around Humboldt and just relaxed around our home. Olivia (the oldest), Susan, and I played in the water sprinkler. That was a blast!

The other highlight was walking around with Susan's younger sister in walmart. Some of our students walked half way across wal-mart to say hello to Susan and I and Susan wasn't there! I find that funny. It is amazing how much the three of them really look like! Check it out!

Welcome to Our Humboldt Home!!!

As promised, and early, our Humboldt home! We are taking registration for people to come and visit. Sign up fast!! It has been about a month since we have been here, and things are coming together! We have planted a crape myrtle, given to us by my momz.

Come up the steps into our home, and check out the myrtle to the right. Our yard is taking hold, and growing. We are enjoying mowing it twice a week, and if you come we will let you join in that fun too! We will feed you a good meal, and make you drink lots of good Humboldt water.

We have lots of room and lots of smiles in our home. Enough of the bed and breakfast talk. Our house is awesome and we are loving being in it. We miss our Texas people, but are loving Tennessee. Come see us for real, we enjoy the visits! Here is our porch where we hang out! If you would like to see more pictures of our Honeymoon you can see them here.

A major update!

I am currently in my office working (thinking about the football game I am going to tonight), on a friday, and Susan is filling out insurance papers (health, life, and dental, YIPPEY)! It is weird being an adult, but we are both long overdue! I think that is the biggest shock of marriage and moving. We are no longer in the young culture of the Dallas area.

Humboldt has been good to us, and we are beginning to get our house in order. Susan's mother and sisters are coming labor day, and you can bet it will be fixed up then. When they are here we plan to take better pictures of the house and will post them, and we have not recieved our wedding pictures.

Susan and I were fortunate enough to be able to go to Oahu, Hawaii, and it was incredible! We stayed in the Makaha Valley. on the northwest side of the island. We did as much as we possibly could on the island, drove around the thing, surfed, hiked up two mountains, eat a lot of fish tacos, enjoy the beach, went to pearl harbor, and many more. We had a great start to our marriage!